The Love Was Never In Them. It Was Always In You.

We tell ourselves the story that “they made me feel safe” or “they completed me.”

But here’s the truth, most people never learn:

That feeling? It was never about them. It was always a mirror of the love, depth, and safety inside you.

That’s why after a breakup…

• You don’t just miss them. You miss who you got to be with them.

• You miss the access you had to your own openness, playfulness, and depth.

• You grieve the version of you that was fully expressed, not just the person.

This is why identity work is the core of every relationship shift. When you understand that you were always the source, you stop:

• Chasing someone else to unlock it

• Making someone else the proof you’re worthy of love

• Believing intimacy only lives in certain people

You realise:

If I felt that with them… it means I am capable of feeling that. It was never theirs to give. It was always mine to access.

This is the identity shift we create inside the Secure Identity Method. Start with the Relationship Identity Quiz to assess what your current relationship identity is and what it is costing you, or check out the IDENTITY RESET.